He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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