Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
