My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
