Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
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