Barsexuality is the new black.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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