My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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