We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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