I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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