I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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