the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
