Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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