Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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