Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Randomize
