Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
