Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize