i was born a porn star she said
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Randomize