using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Randomize
