My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
