i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Randomize
