i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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