I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
