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• (313): View more from Michigan

  Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Gross. gingers suck

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• (630): View more from Illinois

  oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.

  (310): View more from California

  ***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.

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• (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

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• (954): View more from Florida

  i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK

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• (514): View more from Quebec

  i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.

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• (248): View more from Michigan

  Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer

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• (512): View more from Texas

  it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house

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• (406): View more from Montana

  fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Preach!

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• (916): View more from California

  Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.

  (714): View more from California

  just follow your vagina

  (916): View more from California

  Quote of the day.

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Our livers are going to hate us.

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.

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