im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize