I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
