y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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