You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Randomize
