does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
