Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
