did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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