so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
