Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
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