waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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