i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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