is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
