There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
