Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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