We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
