you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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