dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
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