checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
