maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
if only i could text you this smell
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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