Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
