I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
