Are we in a gay sports bar?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize