I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
