Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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