there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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