your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
