I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
