yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
