Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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