I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
