Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
