It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
