The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize