I think I died a long time ago.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
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No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
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Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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