I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Randomize
