i always forget guys have bellybuttons
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
