So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
