I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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