i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
