Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize