I feel like I'm in dance class right now
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
COCAINE IS GR8
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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