dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Randomize
